I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
