She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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