I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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