Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize