I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
