i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
