I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
