I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
