The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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