How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
