Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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