Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize