I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
