She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
