Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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