I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
