i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
