Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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