Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
