Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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