The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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