The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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