I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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