Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
