is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My feet surprised me
Randomize
