Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
