I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize