guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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