CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
