i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
