Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
