Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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