Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
