Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she smelled like a LAN party
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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