remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
