the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
