I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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