On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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