kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
