Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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