yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Come see our sink grown plant.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
