THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
