HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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