It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
