Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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