but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
