you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just pee around me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
