I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
