Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
