Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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