Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to calm my uterus...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
