never play flip cup with pint glasses
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
