the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize