Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
