This is not my ceiling
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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