I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
