just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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