Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
