And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize