So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
