just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize