my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
