I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We have started to decorate penises.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
