There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my shit smells like andre
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize