Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize