i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
