My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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